Kristajean’s Weblog

Babygirl is working on making her way into the world!  Thought I would tell you about her 1st try.
Nov 5 around 10 pm I started contracting, and contracted every 8-10 mins all night til the morning.  In the morning we went for a walk to see if the contractions would get closer together (a way to tell if it is true or false labor).  They did!  They got to be 7 minutes apart and then 5 minutes apart.   But then as soon as I got in the shower to get ready to go to the hospital they stopped all together for near an hour.  CONFUSING!
So I figured it couldn’t be anything real since it seemed to stop.
Then they started back up again but not nearly as consistent, but I had a low dull backache, which apparently I found out from a few people that some people experience contractions as a backache. . . So I was worried that I might be having contractions and not really be able to feel them.   We decided to just go in, and get checked and find out what was going on with babygirl.
I figured if I was having that much action in my uterus I better make sure she was ok.
So we went in and got hooked up to the monitors. They said I am 2 1/2 cm dilated, and that she is already really low which is probably what explained my lower back pain.  She is in -2 position.  Her heart rate and movements were perfect so she is fine and dandy in there.  The doctors said I could walk around a bit and try to see if anything happened  or just go home and expect to be coming back sometime soon.
“sometime soon” is just torture!
I am so excited to see our little girl.  It was kinda nice getting a practice run at the whole thing.  I think it got alot of my nerves out.  Next time we go I will feel like a pro.  I never wanted to be that girl that has the “false alarm”, but I REFUSE to be that girl that goes in twice on false alarms!  Sean and I were joking because I said next time I will not go in until I am for sure that she is on her way out.  Sean will be like “Krista I can see the head we NEED to go in!” and I will still be in denial and wont go in!
Oh boy, hopefully my post titled 2nd try will have a picture of my baby bean and not be another story of a failed attempt.

I am working on putting together a special day for Jacob.

I love the little guy so much, and I know he is about to go through a big transition.  From our only child to the big brother of a needy little newborn.  I am SO proud of everything that he has been accomplishing lately, just the normal 2 year old stuff, but it is amazing to watch him grow.
I want to plan a WHOLE DAY dedicated to everything Jacob!  Every meal, and every activity completely scheduled around him.

If you have any good ideas, based on what Jake likes, let me know-

Question-  what provider do you use for TV and or internet?  Who have you found to be the cheapest?  We were lucky enough to have TV and internet included at our townhome and are now being pretty shocked by the costs as we are looking for a cable and internet provider.  Is $110 a month really the best there is!?!?!?  That’s ridiculous..

Just wanted to let you know that I am really enjoying our new house… Although everything is still in complete disorder, and there is still much work to be done I know we are going to have lots of great times here, and I already just love coming home to this place.
What I like the most about this place is the complete silence at night!  I never thought our other house was noisy, until we spent our first night here.  ABSOLUTE dark, and ABSOLUTE silence.  It made for a good first nights sleep!  Actually my first night sleeping here was the first time I slept straight through the night in probably at least a month.  (didnt even have to get up to pee!) WOO HOO !  If you are a pregnant mom you know that is something to rejoice over.

5 weeks to go until our nameless little baby girl arrives!  I am so o  o  o ready for her to come, but also can’t believe she is almost here.  I have a feeling she will come early, because I have been contracting so much, and she feels so low to me.  Looking forward to my apt on the 28 to find out if there is any progress going on down there.
I can’t believe I am going to have 2 kids.  Sometimes I still look at Jacob and go wow, I am that human beings MOM!??!?!? I wonder if it is something you ever get over.

Painted the baby girl room today!   The color is called sprinkle… not like the kind on your ice cream… more like a sprinkle of TEALY RAIN!  I love it!  It looks really pretty, girly, and nice.
Tomorrow I think that I will do Jacob’s room!  I am nesting x 10~~~

I had such a great day today.  Let’s recap:

Perfect weather
Boating with my favorite floridians
walking around at the art show
20 minute catnap
Baked Ziti dinner date with my favorite son
Finger painting
Jake and I set up the baby swing over at the new house and put a lot away (starting to feel more like home over there which is good! Until tonight I still felt awkward there.)

And now I am eating a bowl full of whip cream with cherries on top… like a HAPPY HAPPY FATTY!

Where do you find your joy??  Is it in your husband or wife?  Your relationship with your child?  Your friends? Your abilities and talents?
Or is it in your Creator God- knowing that he created you, delights in you, rejoices over you… basically that he wants you around, and wants to be involved in you intimately.
I wrongly assumed that my marriage would be the main source of joy in my life.  I was lucky enough to witness first hand everyday from the time I was born one of the happiest healthiest marriages I have seen to this day.  My parents seemed like they were constantly enjoying each others company and it never faded.
For me marriage has been the hardest challenge of my life so far.  It is not nearly as easy or enjoyable as I presumed it would be based on the view I had of my parents partnership.
But I had been telling God that HE was my joy, and that I would make it through these hardships smiling because of Him.
A few nights ago I was saying this same thing to God when God told me I was lying to Him.  ( I don’t like when God is so honest with me! )  I had been fading and fading as far as joy and contentment were concerned over the past few weeks.  Things with Jacob’s sleep behavior had gone from 100% peaceful to 100% horrendous and stressful times 12!  I felt like I was failing my son, and failing ultimately as a mother.  To hear him scream from 9pm to 7am despite anything I did was going to drown my soul sooner or later and I could feel it.
I put Jacob to bed a few nights ago and the death screaming started.  I said to God- GOD!  What are you trying to teach me?  What is going on here?
My abilities as a mother, and my relationship with Jacob had somewhere along the line usurped the role of God in my joy department.  If I was not worth much as a mother, and if I didn’t have this sweet fun to be around kid, my joy disappeared.
God is my joy, not my children.  God is my joy, not my husband.  God is my joy not my abilities.  I’m so thankful that God is my joy-  because he doesn’t throw pointless temper tantrums in the  WEE hours of the morning.  I am thankful that my worth to God does not change no matter how my son turns out, or my marriage turns out, or how my looks may change or fade.
What a good God, and he delights in ME!?

Red Raspberry Leaf

Uses

Pregnancy

The leaves contain high concentrations of several vitamins and minerals because of the plant’s secondary compounds. As a result, it is used as an aid for pregnancy and delivery.

Vitamin C and vitamin E are present in large amounts as well as Vitamin A and some B Complex. Increased Vitamin A intake in the form of the carotenoids of red raspberry leaf can aid the women’s immune system as well as facilitate healthy skin and bone development for the baby. Vitamin E serves to promote better circulation in the mother who is dramatically increasing her blood volume during pregnancy. The Red raspberry leaf also contains many essential minerals such as phosphorus, potassium, and an easily assimilated form of calcium. An increased availability of calcium is necessary in controlling nerve response to pain during childbirth and in aiding bone development in the fetus. It also contains fragrine, an alkaloid which help tone the muscles of the pelvic region including the uterus. This allows the uterus to contract more powerfully and effectively during labor. Also, many midwives report that it aids in focusing the pre-labor contractions that help a woman’s uterus to prepare for delivery. The high vitamin and mineral content help replace those lost via blood loss during delivery. Also, the alkaloids will continue toning the uterus as it returns to its usual size. In some women, the high mineral content may even help their milk to come in. Some people believe it is not recommended for breast feeding and use of the leaf should conclude with in 6 weeks of birth. However, according to Every Woman’s Herbal, raspberry leaf tea will enrich the mother’s milk, especially during periods when the baby is going through a growth spurt. Continuing to consume raspberry leaf after the baby is 6 weeks old is not dangerous to the mother or the infant and may be beneficial.

God definitely is all about stretching me through putting me into the exact situations I fear.  God has thrown me helplessly into my biggest weaknesses  in the past few years.   The one I am referring to right now is change.   3 years ago I would have said I was NOT a fan of change… I would much rather be around the familiar people, and places of my past then venture into the wilderness of the unknown alone.
But that is where God put me.  Marriage.  FLORIDA- what a wilderness lol.  But alone I definitely was, and it was a big change.  Since then I have seen my body e x p a n d, make a baby, shrink again and I was thrust into the biggest change of my life: motherhood.  Now I am about to venture into the unknown territory of being a mother of two.  And in a couple weeks I am moving again.  Not that it is far, or an extremely different situation but its still a whole new place to make home, and get used to.
While I definitely have felt the pull to doubt my abilities to be a mother of 2, or handle such a big change so far along in pregnancy, I know God is not phased at all by my future.  Actually I am positive that every wilderness God brings me to the edge of he will also bring me all the way through.

Thanking God that he carries me through until completion.